Minimalism: Unselfish Self-love?

I think that we are all always seeking freedom and rest because we know at the core as humans that we were designed for that.

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I started out on my journey to minimalism, in part, because I didn't want life to be so dreadfully hard. I wanted to be able to walk into my house without tripping over a weed-eater (it's the little things right?). I wanted to find my keys and to have clean dishes. I wanted the anger and despair to leave. And I wanted to no longer hate who I was; it was that simple.  

I didn't realize, then, who I really was. As a visual person, I know now that I am created specifically with a perfectionist eye for art and color and design. Clutter makes me have a hard time breathing. I had no self-awareness or appreciation for my learning style. I didn't know what self-love was then, and I probably would've told you "that sounds selfish. Minimalism is a stark art-form for elite, self-absorbed artists, right?" 

Let's just be clear, we are not talking about self-centered living when we talk about minimalism.

I think that we are all always seeking freedom and rest because we know at the core as humans that we were designed for that. Something in our souls knows that we require peace in our identity, provision in our homes, and freedom to love our families with all that we are. 

All of that begins in what we believe about ourselves. 

I remember the exact moment I decided to hate who I was. I remember the culture that told me I wasn't good enough, thin enough, successful enough - never enough. I remember believing that I wasn't worthy to be loved. I had to struggle through many dark days of depression to come to a place where I knew that I could not find that self-love in my own strength (I am a strong personality; believe me, I tried!) 

I found the foundation for self-love only comes from knowing I AM loved. As I dove into ancient writings, thinking back to how generations lived before me and handled the deep questions I was asking, I found great solace in seeking ancient pathways of simplicity and faith.

I found words that the Creator-God had spoken.

"You are His beloved." 

"You are chosen."

"You are worthy."

So worthy and valuable that God would come down to rescue me from my own darkness by His own suffering. The twisted-nature of religion never interested me; to be totally honest, it makes me sick. Yet, the healing brought by the reality of the cross of Jesus was exactly what I needed. His love came with the mix of violence and love and justice. I knew, in my depression, that I could not love myself without His love for me. 

My friend, I know that you understand the darkness that I speak of.  Maybe you've struggled deeply. Or perhaps you love someone who still wrestles with depression.

For me, I had to give almost everything away to find that what I truly wanted wasn't stuff at all. It was peace with God and peace with myself in my own soul. 

The path of minimalism still leads me straight to Him and all that I breathlessly needed in order to overcome self-hatred and despair. I needed this to be free to love my family as unselfishly as I can each day. Minimalism is not the source of self-love nor is it innately selfish; it is merely an unselfish method to clear a path to the Answer I needed. 

In your minimalist journey that you walk, dear friend, may you hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in in," and you will find rest for your soul. You will know how deeply loved you are.  And with every path you walk in this wide world, may it always lead you straight to the cross of your Savior. 

Blessings for your journey,

Elizabeth

Curate & Create: Why Minimalism May NOT Be About "Decluttering" After All

Today, perhaps you are slightly burnt-out on decluttering. Perhaps it seems the clutter mysteriously multiples and every time you turn around there's more clutter. Or perhaps your mind is always going, thinking, planning, praying, begging for a way out of the stress and clutter. Maybe it's the mental clutter at night that keeps you awake. I understand; you and I can gently laugh together because if you were sitting here tonight in my snowed-in log home, you'd see that origami frogs have multiplied like the plague of Egypt across the floor! Even after 558 huge bags (2/3rds of everything) donated to charity, stuff sneaks in.

Even after 558 huge bags (2/3rds of everything in our home) donated to charity, stuff sneaks in.

We are always seeking simplicity in this ever-complex world. And in the realm of minimalism, I have found that I dislike the word "decluttering" more and more. It sounds negative to me, and I don't think that only decluttering will lead us all to the peace and simplicity that we are seeking. It's akin to saying "pay off all debt and you'll be fine forever." While paying off debt is important (and possible) just being debt-free is not the end goal. Financial stability is a process that far exceeds just eliminating debt. Only decluttering the home is not the end goal. I believe it is merely the beginning, and the language that we use when discussing this journey to simplicity does make a difference. I believe the language and words we choose to describe our journey can literally make all the difference. 

And tonight, you have my permission to stop decluttering.

Yes, as a ardent minimalist, I just gave you permission to stop. Instead, if we were chatting by the fire place tonight (as my oldest clears the frogs) I would offer you the alternative of "curating" your best life instead of just decluttering it.

Let me explain. I have many friends in the art world and several who make amazing decisions for shows and exhibitions. I adore the process they get to participate in as they are both artists and curators. It is through their choices of what to include and exclude that they actually create a whole new art - the show or exhibition itself is also art as much as the paintings and sculptures contained in it.

Your home is your canvas, a living, changing canvas on which you have the joy and responsibility to create. Not self-centered and cold, sterile and perfect so that no one touches it, but quite the contrary.

Home is a stunning masterpiece meant to be lived in, touched, tasted, enjoyed, shared, and created over and over again.

The art of our lives comes from the continuing act of creating, not merely decluttering. We are not just cutting out items for the sake of eliminating clutter. It seems too much like a diet left to a binge-and-purge-cycle. You and I both know that's wrong on so many levels. Instead, I would rather dream and create and work and replace, eliminating the unnecessary and the no-longer-applicable to showcase the current journey in simple, beautiful ways.

Let's be real and specific. Two simple steps to begin to "curate" your home. 

1. Get rid of junk because you want to, not because you think you should. Stop decluttering only to have it sneak in again. Change the emotion of your journey to simplicity from frustration to awe. See the beauty in the process and use the frustration to fuel courage. Changing how you view items coming and going begins also with guarding the door of your home just like a security guard only allows the masterpieces to enter the exhibit hall. Now, I don't mean everything in your home should be expensive at all or stuffy and untouchable like a forgotten museum. However, you can see beauty in the normal, daily-used items. You CAN clear space to showcase the stunning beauty in the humility of daily living. 

2. Focus on what you want to keep and why. Is it beautiful? Enjoy it! Do you love the fading of roses that probably should be composted like I do? Keep them longer. Do you see beauty in old books? Or towels folded right, thank the Lord, the towels were folded right today!

Create a list today of your criteria for what to keep and what to share and why. Also, add a portion of that list for items that are simply no longer reflective of your journey. Permanent markers with toddlers are no longer part of my journey in my home with log walls, just as a fun example. 

Home need not be perfect and it need not ever be completely done, as no piece of art is ever complete in artist-eyes. Almost done is plenty "done." Did you take time to write today or play cars on the floor with your kids because the laundry was (almost) caught up? Did you write down that dream non-profit idea to serve those desperate for hope because the dishes were (almost) done? Good enough opens up possibilities to create anew. 

Do you love the fading of roses that probably should be composted? Keep the the beauty that feeds your soul regardless of what others may say. 

Can you join me in no longer decluttering? Instead, we can together curate our homes and lives for the joy set before us.

Blessings for your unique journey,

Elizabeth