Top 3 Money Saving Strategies for a Simple Babyhood

Sweet baby snuggles

Hello my lovely friend, come on in and bring that sweet baby of yours, too. This little log home in the woods is home to my 6 wild, amazing children. Of course, babies are always welcome here! My youngest babe is just starting to roll over. With having so many babies, I have often been asked about how "expensive" babies are. And I love being a financial + minimalist coach in real life because I get to help parents soak up more of those precious baby moments by saving money during babyhood. Let's chat about my 3 Top Money Saving Strategies and you might be surprised at how inexpensive babies can be. 

#3 Money Saving Strategy: Ask for what you truly need. Less of what you don't need AND more of what you do.

When I first left my corporate job to come home with my baby's medical complications, I was not prepared for the tsunami of first baby "stuff." I was blessed by the love and support I received, but I had this sick feeling in my stomach with each gift. The truth was that my baby didn't need another cute outfit. My household just needed money to keep a roof over her head. Let's be honest, you and I are friends, it's hard to ask for what we truly need, isn't it? Hardly anyone knew how deep the struggle was financially. Looking back on when I was broke(n) and drowning in chaos of stuff, I wish I had been given permission to ask for what I truly needed. Food, money for gas, help to declutter, someone to hold the baby while I showered. A hot meal, please Lord, just one hot meal. Anything, except more baby junk.  

Oh my dear friend, you totally have the right to ask for what you truly need. Obviously, do this with grace and kindness and discernment. But it's o.k. to be honest with what would be helpful when family or friends offer. How I wish I had learned to accept help sooner! 

#2 Money Saving Strategy: Do things as naturally as possible.

There are so many products out there telling us that the product will make our mom-life easier. I found the exact opposite to be the case most of the time. I thought carefully about how my grandmother had raised my father and his siblings in the heart of Central Africa. She didn't have all the equipment, but she did have help. Human arms of dear friends to hold her babies when she needed help. She nursed her babies and cloth diapered. My grandfather would rinse the diapers on a little ledge of the huge ocean liner as they traveled across the ocean between the States and Africa. I figured that truly, my grandmother knew best. Not that disposable diapers aren't helpful in certain seasons, it's alright, of course. However, if naturally feeding and diapering are possible, do it. I use cloth diapers that fit from newborn to toddler. I bought them used off eBay to start with. And I practice Elimination Communication where I take my babies to the restroom from birth. So easy and no cloth diapers to even wash! Totally worth it. We seriously paid off our student loans by all the money saved by EC'ing and cloth diapering.

Newborn cloth diapers are so adorable AND money-saving!

#1 Money Saving Strategy Tip: Think of the world from your baby's eyes.

Slow down. Babyhood only happens once. What does she need right now? Starting with the baby's perspective does re-frame an understanding of babyhood. Allocate your resources according to what kind of babyhood you want for her, and she will respond with what her preferences are.  As you are evaluating what you need for your unique baby, try to think in terms of what babies naturally need, not what the baby industry tries to sell us. Does your baby love people? Is she always shy? Does she love new places or staying close at home? This will change as baby grows, but you can start to see the uniqueness of your little one. THEN, create the systems and tools that you need. We love hiking so a carrier was a must.

I must have a high-quality sling for my high intensity life!

I travel often for business with my husband and we take our baby along so a extra comfy car seat was a requirement. Craft your equipment to your baby and life. And don't be afraid to sell items, even gifts, if it doesn't fit what you need. I sold my high chair when pregnant with baby #6 and haven't bought another one. It didn't work for our season and so out it went! 

Here's a few tips in evaluating baby equipment:

I change my little man on a towel in the bathroom for quick easy clean up.

• Is it a multiple- purposed item? For example, I use towels as my changing station. It can be a towel, blanket, spit-up rag, or changing station cover. The possibilities are endless.
• Is it wash-able? I always look for cotton/durable fabric.
• Is it gender neutral? You always want it to last long term.
• Is it made with quality materials to last? Many German made items have superior design and last longer in my humble experience.
• Is it made to grow with the baby? I love items like Baby legs and the Lotus bed (not affiliated just a happy customer) that grow with the baby. 
• Is it made by a company that I can support in good conscience? 
• Can I buy this item used or ask for it for a holiday gift rather than purchasing it right this moment?
• Is this problem that I want to solve able to be solved by something I already own? I sewed baby sleep sacks out of fabric I already owned (I don't sew much but it took 5 minutes) rather than buying expensive ones online. 

Be free to design your best babyhood for you and your sweet baby! Saving money AND cherishing these moments with your baby is possible.

Blessings for your journey,

Elizabeth

New Ways to CREATE Sacred Space Even in a Crazy World

View of the "Cathedral of Trees" taken by my daughter

Hello my dear friend, I hear it your voice that the last several weeks have been crazy. Really crazy. From international and national events to your own soul, there's been turmoil. A lot of it. How do we find Sacred Space when it seems the world has absolutely lost its soul? 

Maybe you are trying to declutter while working full time, commuting, and juggling the children. Perhaps you are caring for aging parents and trying to declutter their stuff AND your stuff. Or may be you are expecting a new little blessing and trying to declutter with babies and toddlers surrounding. Maybe, like me, you run a couple businesses, homeschool six kids, and have a dog, cat, chicken, pigeons, and a chinchilla. Maybe not. Regardless of what season you are in, my dear friend, you are not alone. You CAN create Sacred Space for your soul to breathe. I will never tell you it is easy, but it is so worth the effort. YOU are worth the effort. Here's how I created Sacred Space.

CREATE SACRED SPACE IN YOUR HOME

When overwhelmed in my decluttering and the press of life, I did not even know that I needed Sacred Space. When all those 500+ bags of junk was still all over my home rather than the local charity, I couldn't see anyway out. I had to start digging. 

With each box to charity, I found more of myself. I was crafting who I was, no longer in terms of what I had, but in terms of what I believed. My priorities. No more of worrying that people would judge me because of what I didn't have. I pitched out the door the concern if people saw I wore the same outfit to church each week (it was clean!). I love my capsule wardrobe because it reflects me. My values. I did NOT need to keep everything just in case the world ended tomorrow. I could walk out my life in faith, keeping what was needed for my journey in the relative near future and being wise, but not living in fear. 

ACTION STEP: Set aside 10 minutes each day for decluttering and then STOP to rest. Rest is key.  Give yourself a cup of tea or a walk outside. Read your favorite book of poetry for the first time in years. The point is to work and then rest. Rest is as necessary as the work. Reward your hard work, not by spending a gazillion dollars, but by being good to yourself. So many minimalist resources talk about the work side of creating space but for some of us, the rest is the important part. Others need the work part. Understand who you are and do both. 

As you are decluttering, you may find that you are getting overwhelmed because you keep seeing the next area that needs tackled. And it needs done faster. This is totally normal, all of my coaching clients feel this way, and I felt that same frustration. I wish that I could say I was peaceful and kind all through decluttering. Let's be real, you and I are friends. I was angry. Furious and desperate while I decluttered. Mostly angry at myself that I had let other people determine what I kept in my home. I had to forgive myself and others in order to create that Sacred Space in my home and my soul. 

ACTION STEP: Forgive the past. As you are decluttering, you CAN forgive yourself and others. This is a powerful step so don't skip it. Forgiveness is power. Maybe you spent more money on an item that didn't turn out how you had planned. Maybe the financial stress now turns your stomach. Forgive. You did the best you could and you've learned and grown from that experience. Perhaps the bills are high right now and income is low. Keep forgiving and look at what can be learned. Maybe you didn't spend the money but someone you love did. Forgive them. Holding onto resentment never solved anything. There is accountability, absolutely, but bitterness will only hurt you. Releasing all the negativity will make room for you to grow the peace and Sacred Space you are looking for. 

Walking the lane

CREATE SACRED SPACE IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Here in our little log home in the woods, we are surrounded by nature, but we didn't always live here. I used to live on "Ambulance Alley" the busiest road in my city. The sirens rang all day and all night and the traffic was relentless. I learned in those hard days to find beauty wherever I was. Sacred Space in my physical environment became vital as well.

ACTION STEP: Find nature and beauty in hidden spaces.  Finding physical surroundings that bring peace to your soul is important. It can bring a keen awareness of beauty. Perhaps it's a neighbors' garden. May be a local park.  I hiked and trail ran on a local pike path and Metro Park. An urban courtyard often provides green space to just breathe again. Find your spot and use it! 

The world does seem to have lost so much of the goodness of humanity these days. The news is toxic on all fronts. Even the normal grocery line conversations are often negative.  To create new patterns in living and thinking, this negativity has to be held at bay even though it may seem at tsunami proportions. Taking these small action steps of work and rest, forgiving the past, and finding beauty in natural living spaces will carve out for you your unique Sacred Space. 

Blessings for your journey,

Elizabeth

How I Minimized My Highest Expense

I'm all about minimizing expenses around here, as you can probably tell from my minimalist log home to my crazy antics in trying to save money.  When I first started my journey towards greater simplicity in my home and my finances, I tried everything! Just not always the RIGHT things.

Come on in, relax at my kitchen table, and let's chat about how to minimize the biggest expense you may not even realize. I'll give you a hint, it's not your home. 

As a professional financial coach offline in "real life," I've worked through this question countless hundreds of times. And although each household is unique, I do see a pattern. The #1 expense is often totally overlooked. So, if you stopped by today we'd let the kids play adventures in the woods while we tackled the topic of taxes.  Every single family I work with needs a "wholistic" tax strategy. In many cases, I work with families that pay between 30 -70% of their income in taxes. No wonder it's hard to break the paycheck to paycheck cycle! 

With over 1 million pages of the tax code, taxes can feel overwhelming. Even if you read www.irs.gov for fun, you could never read it all. Full disclaimer: I am NOT a CPA, I am trained as a tax preparer and insurance advocate, and I DO read IRS.gov for fun. For real. And often. We can still be friends. Stay with me, keep drinking your tea, and read all the way to the end. Minimizing taxes is worth it. 

I actually do read pages and pages of tax code. Honestly, I do it to protect my family and yours from serious tax errors.  Because I know what it's like to be a full -throttle mom. I know you juggle a ton with career, business, children, marriage, or aging parents. I also know that taxes may not be your favorite topic, to say the least. 

As you are clearing and minimizing your home, you are always going to need that special spot of "important papers," especially tax returns, receipts, and stuff they send and you're not sure if you need it. Just start small. Put everything in the same filing spot. Even if the spot is a mess, put it all together. Grab my Pathway to Simplicity Guide to start simplifying that area.

Next, pull out last year's tax return and look for the form 1040 at the top. This is the center of the bicycle wheel of the tax papers. All other forms, mostly, orbit around this form. As you are creating a complete tax strategy, you know that your goal is minimize your tax liability (the amount you owe) and maximize your deductions (stuff that lowers your taxes that you owe).

As we sip our tea and laugh at silly children playing, we should discuss that there are two totally different tax systems within our complicated tax code. If nothing else, you need to know this. One tax system if for the employee and one is for the business owner. Many people are in both categories and that is totally fine. Just understand that the taxes function very differently. Here's the basics of how:

As an employee, you are subject to tax on your wages first. Your taxes and "pre-withdrawn" from your pay check. Hence the reason it's hard to get ahead. By the time it's direct deposited into your account, the government has already started the processes of "re-directing" your hard-earned pay. There's a huge back story on how this came to be historically, but just trust me you'll want to know how to make educated tax decisions for you family because taxes are withdrawn first from a traditional W-2 paycheck. 

As a business owner, you receive payment for your product or service from your customer so the money works completely different than from an employer. You may charge your customer sales tax as applicable, but you now have some choices that you can strategically make with that money you've received. In short, you can make your money work for you and create more income for your household BEFORE you must pay taxes on it. This is through legitimate, strategic tax deductions. Maybe continuing to expand your business. You pay taxes last, instead of first as you do as an employee. That's a very simplified version of it, but I just want you to get the basic concepts here. 

Next you'll need to understand those important deductions. Deductions are legitimate expenses you pay for that then lowers your taxable income. As an employee or a business owner or both, you need to be very cozy with deductions, what they are, and their rules. Go to www.IRS.gov and search "deductions." There are two deduction headings you are going to see there, itemized and standard deductions. Now there are advantages to using one or the other but eventually you will probably want to itemize. This itemizing will again lower your taxable income to take full advantage of legitimate tax deductions. 

As a business owner, you are going to want to track mileage, advertising expenses, and product costs plus many others. Good book keeping is key. Do you use your 2nd cell phone only for business? Do you drive to meet with clients? Save receipts and track that mileage. If you are a sole proprietor, you probably will look for the schedule C. As our economy moves more towards the "gig" or "sharing" economic structure, more of us are needing to be fully educated on our own tax strategy. The IRS even promotes a whole page on the site to the "sharing" economy. 

Here are a few simple steps to begin today to minimize your largest expense:

1. Change your mindset towards taxes. No, you don't have to repeat a mantra that you love taxes, but you do not need to be intimidated any more on the topic. You CAN get educated information on this important topic. You CAN begin to understand concepts that will protect your family. Trust me, with the type of money you are paying in taxes, this needs to be at the top of your list to learn.

2. Pull out your last years tax return. Yes, I know it's much more fun to do a thousand other things, but trust me. When you keep more of your hard earned money, you will be so happy with the time you spent getting cozy with your 1040. 

3. Looking at your return, read through line by line the progression of what you pay in taxes and how it is figured. The 1040 is the main form around which all your other forms will rotate. It's the center of the bicycle wheel. Search www.irs.gov for anything you don't understand. 

4. Look at your deductions. Do you take a standard deduction? Do you itemize on a schedule A? Are there deductions that you aren't familiar with. Write those down. Just because something is tax deductible doesn't mean it directly lowers your taxes. Some deductions are certain percentages and have different rules depending on what it is so it may be an indirect benefit to lowering your taxes. If you look on www.irs.gov in the search box you can read up on the rules to see if it applies to your situation. Can you tell I adore www.irs.gov? Crazy, I know! I do because KNOWLEDGE APPLIED = POWER.  I want you to be empowered as you are protecting the financial stability of your sweet family. 

5. Call your tax preparer and ask to review your taxes today. Ask how you can make changes to pay less in taxes.  The year is still young. You have time to make adjustments now, proactively rather than re-actively come tax season. Did you pay more in taxes than you thought you should? Do you have a plan to optimize your tax deductions according to the IRS guidelines? Are you keeping accurate records? All of this can be found on www.irs.gov, but having a real, live person to walk you through this topic is key.

This is where I started with my largest tax deduction, through taking full advantage of owning a business (we own two different businesses). I educated myself on the charitable donations that were tax deductible and followed the rules exactly. I worked through the 1040 and took the tax preparer training because I found I loved it. Now I am working on the Enrolled Agent exam simply because it is vital to the families I work with.

Working this tax strategy together with my CPA, plus better financial information plus my own financial coach produced incredible financial progress while making my own toothpaste did not.

Whew, see it wasn't that bad, talking taxes right? The sun is still shining through the trees, birds are singing, children playing. And in those 5 steps you are beginning your journey to truly save huge percentages of your hard earned income through understanding your unique tax situation. 

Blessings,

Elizabeth

***Disclaimer: None of this is official legal or tax advice. Each situation is unique and, of course, I highly recommend long conversations with your personal tax professional over a delightful cup of tea. 

Minimalist Money Mishaps: Funny Things that Happened Along the Road to Minimalism

Some days, you may just need to laugh. Some days, you may need to know that other people aren't perfect, especially on the road to minimalism. If you were here today, we'd probably chat outside because it's beautiful, almost Fall weather here. We'd let the children run and dig in the mud on the other side of the garage while we sit on the stone steps leading to Dogwood Grove, a quiet realm of trees. I'd probably tell you how good it is to laugh along this minimalist journey. Deep, belly, tears-in-the-eyes laugh. It's one of many things I had to learn.

When I first started sorting and donating and giving everything (500+ bags) away, I wasn't laughing. It wasn't funny. We were completely broke and looking up at the poverty level, wishing to be poor. And yet, I felt this conviction to start giving it all away. 

I tried desperately to bring simplicity to the chaos of my home and yet I needed to save all the money that I could. In the midst of that struggle between frugality and minimalism, I had to learn to let go of unrealistic expectations. Yes, we expect to have a clean and tidy house most of the time. Yes, I reasonably expect to find my purse every day and keys and kids. However, I had to accept that sometimes I would mess up, BIG TIME. Here's a couple quick examples.

In my minimalist journey, I thought it would be a good idea to build a couch so that I didn't have to buy a new one (ours was broken and old from college). I watched You-Tube videos and thought that I could totally build my own couch out of a thrift store wooden door. I found the door of my dreams for $20 and I was inspired! I had great aspirations of building a "dream minimalist couch" with old cushions from a previous college-thrift-ed couch. I went to Lowe's and bought several pieces of wood with lots kids in tow. Lowe's cut it for me because I am not good with power tools and plus, well, toddlers. I brought it all home and screwed the boards into a rectangle, thinking "how hard can it be right?" Then just put the door on top. Easy, right? Wrong! Nothing was straight. The baby was screaming and my husband was working at the time. I think I laughed and cried.  But I stuck with it. I finally got the whole thing stable enough to just throw the cushions on this wooden box thing and then I put two sheets and my grandmother's lace table cloth over top. What was I thinking? The cushions slid off, the kids wore the sheets like togas, and it wasn't at all comfortable. You'd think I would've gotten the hint that it wasn't working, but I kept trying! We had that couch for over 6 months trying different variations of a failing theme. My husband sweetly said, "Honey, it feels like we are sitting on a door." Ouch. Literally! Not my most costly experiment, that was yet to come, but the whole thing did cost me $50 and lots of ridiculously wasted time. I can laugh now at how silly my mindset was. If I had put my time into making income, I could've at least bought the pre-made thrift store couches we have now. (Kurt talked the manager at the local thrift store down in price, but the couches are sturdy and match and are, oh-so-heavenly comfortable compared to the door couch.) My next minimalist experiment cost quite a bit more for the lesson I learned!

As I was trying to minimize my home, I decided it would be a good idea to label everything using a washable black crayon to save time and ultimately money. If I was organized, I reasoned, I wouldn't lose things or buy duplicates. I was so excited when I found one at an art store for $1.59. I labeled my kitchen cupboards so that the kids could put items away correctly. I label my glass jars and felt the thrill of organizational victory - until the day I forgot my beautiful black crayon in the laundry. Now, I'm sure many a momma has washed a pen or crayon or something in a load of whites, which is, of course, what happened. I could've lived with that. However, after I washed the load of whites with the high-end washable black crayon, I accidentally dried it too. My money-saving, super-great washable crayon did NOT wash off the inside of the dryer. Not with soap and water, not with rubbing alcohol, not with any abrasive chemical laden cleaner I was trying so hard to avoid. I completely ruined the dryer because the only time that the black crayon came off the inside of the dryer is when, of course, I put clothing into it. Everything we owned had black crayon on it. I had to buy a new dryer AND new (thrifted) clothing! That was possibly a $500 mishap, but I sure did learn a few things. Keep track of black crayons.

Then, as you and are laughing over that one, we would probably listen to the soft singing of birds in the cathedral of trees. We would probably try to giggle quietly...shhhh otherwise the kids will come running, curious about why we are laughing. I'd tell you next about my DIY make-up experiments. Like the time that I tried to make green eyeliner out of Spirulina, a health-food algae I use in smoothies. My husband came in to kiss me and didn't notice the green tint to my eye lids, but did ask me why I smelled like "fish food?" Yikes! That wasn't working. It was expensive and tasted terrible, even though I did get it on sale. That was a $25 experiment.

My money saving -minimalist antics may seem a little extreme, and I haven't even told you about all the things I have trash picked (everything from dishes, mattress/box springs, furniture, foaming soap pumps, and I've even found 5 dollars in change in the trash).  I made my own baby blankets pictured above, and I tried to make curtain rods from sticks and fishing line. It didn't work but I've got more ideas. I may yet build another couch or reuse the door for a coat rack. I had sheets pinned with safety pins as curtains until my friend hemmed them this year.  Finding wealth in hidden places is life-giving to me, all the while keeping only what creates my best, inspired life. It is a delicate but doable balance.

And not that I'm totally proud of my crazy tendencies toward DIY frugal adventures, but I want you to know that if things don't always go as planned, that's o.k. You are still making progress. It doesn't need to be perfect to be moving you forward. You're learning. Set your goals high. Dream big. Debt freedom is possible. A simple home that works for you is completely within reach. And you may need to rest for a moment and laugh along the way. You're in good company. I made my own dish soap today (somehow it's green). I'll let you know how this one goes.

Blessings for your journey,

Elizabeth

How I Tamed the Laundry Monster....Minimalist Laundry Even With 6 Kids!

Ahhhh laundry! Yes, I know it can be so overwhelming. If you were to stop by today, you would get a full tour of my little log home. It would only take a minute since it's 1400 sq feet, but you might ask where all the laundry is for these wild (often muddy) 6 children running around. That's a great question and I don't mind showing you the closet because for years I felt like the laundry monster was going to be the death of me. I want you to know that you can conquer this too! On your minimalist journey, your laundry system is key. It's going to look different for every family and every season of life, but you CAN have clean clothing without the laundry explosion.

First of all, full disclosure, I used to collect clothing. I seriously saved everything just in case. Hence, I used to have 8 overflowing laundry baskets plus the clothing in closets and dressers and off-season/sizes in the basement. That was when I only had 2 kids. Yikes! To say it was overwhelming would be an understatement. Closer to paralyzing.

Now, I have 2 laundry baskets for a household of 8. And I don't spend hours a day folding, sorting, not-finding-what-I wanted, laundering.  How did that happen?

WHERE DO I START?

I was there, covered in Mount Laundry, crying on the floor trying to sort through the mess and I truly didn't know where to start. So I started with me. I got rid of my fear of "what if I need that" or "I don't have anything to wear" which never was true on either fear. Then, I realized that I needed to trust and believe that I would have enough. I could be creative and use what I had wisely. Slowly and desperately, I peeled away layers. This might help you as well......

Layer 1 : Get rid of any stained, ripped, or non-fitting clothing for every family member. Seems easy right? That's what everything I read told me to do. It was HARD. I wanted to fix it, to sew it, to make it work again. I have this frugal, redemptive twitch that is hard to turn off. Maybe you feel that too. Here's what I did to be my authentic self. I DO save high quality clothing that needs sewn but then I schedule a sewing day just because I love to do it. Not because I HAVE to do it. And if it's a busy season, I simply don't sew until I can find joy in it again. I do cut off boys pants into shorts.  I only dress my boys in khaki's so it works out great. 

Layer 2: I worked with the children to choose their favorites. I realized that they were really only wearing the same 5 outfits anyway because those outfits were comfy. Go figure! So I saved those 5 outfits and donated the rest. 5 outfits for summer, 5 outfits for winter. Done. I also gave up on pajamas entirely. Never worked for us. Clean comfy clothing works best to sleep in at our house. Choose how you like, but for me that saves a ton of time and headache. 

Layer 3: I got rid of dressers. Little hands couldn't close the drawers anyway. I pulled a metal shelf from the barn. I'll admit, I was nervous that the "flinging" tendencies of the toddler would create a clothing explosion. I taught him one time and it hasn't happened since. He is a good citizen. (Don't be too impressed, though, as he did flood the house last week twice. He is still a toddler!). My point is that whatever physical arrangement you do, make it easy for you and your household to keep it neat. 

This is not pristine but real life isn't. The children fold their own clothes so I call this a win. This is all 6 children's clothing for summer and winter ages 13 to newborn.

Socks are in little buckets placed in age-order by the door just below the shoes. This is a kitchen cupboard so it's not the normal usage but it works for us.  

Next, I looked at our system. I put all the clothing in one closet in the boys room by the main floor bathroom. Socks go by the shoes at the entry door in the kitchen. Underpants for the kiddos go in the bathroom. That's it. Making it easy on myself and thinking through the pathway of laundry was supremely important to creating a minimalist system that worked for my household. 

With the laundry close by, the younger children can even help!

Finally, I took a hard look at our washer/dryer situation.  I just did this 3 months ago after my clothing system was under control for a several years. I realized that hauling laundry to the basement was a serious problem, so I moved our laundry hook up to our coat closet upstairs. It cost a little bit of money to do that, but the time and effort it saves....priceless! 

So whether you do laundry for one person or one hundred people, having a simple, intentional system for clothing relieves the overwhelm. And I found that I was more free to laugh and enjoy the muddy moments of childhood, without anger or tears towards my precious children.  

Blessings for your journey!

Create Your Haven Today, Don't Wait For Perfect

A typical day now....keep reading for a "before" photo shown below. 

You may be new here to my little log home or maybe you've been a dear friend for years visiting my home through this process. Perhaps you've seen my journey up close and personal or maybe you're just joining me now. However you and I have met, I want you to know that I am a real person who had a real mess to overcome. And there's a few things I learned in the midst of my journey that might just encourage you along the way....

First, my friend, don't be ashamed that you aren't where you want to be yet. Understand that part of your victory will be that you had immense obstacles to overcome. Don't apologize that you are working hard to declutter your home. Remove the "I'm sorry the house is a mess..." thought entirely. Stop worrying about the debt you keep chipping away at, hoping no one will notice how overwhelmed you feel by it all. Now is the time to shove that weight off your shoulders.

Welcome those you love in the midst of your "sometimes messy" journey and say instead, "Come on in, it's not perfect but I'm making progress each day." Love in the midst of the process. Welcome those who need a haven even while your haven is being created. That's part of it. Don't wait to create a haven until it's perfect, that day will not come until eternity. Start loving and creating a peaceful, unique, imperfect haven right now!  Serve pancakes for lunch because pay day is long way out yet. Love now! While there are still dishes piled high. While there are still toys that must be shoveled out of the way. 

A "before" photo from 2 years ago....notice the toy explosion. This is how my home looked while hosting a weekly gathering for 25 beloved friends. It was FAR from perfect. The struggle was intense!

Share your heart and your vision with your family and friends. Let them see that you are working on it a little at a time. Don't be shamed by your journey. Don't apologize and don't back down. This is your path! It's time for false guilt to be decluttered. The best thing I ever got rid of was the guilt of the past. Shame must be defeated. Personal responsibility is absolutely required, but shame is not. There is a difference. Responsibility says, "I'm taking charge of my life, my home, and my finances and moving forward." Having a home and a life that is full of peace starts first in the heart. 

My lovely friend, I want you to know deep in your soul that you are worthy. You CAN do this, even if it's not perfect. Keep going.

Cheering you on!

Blessings!

Taming of the Toys

If you stopped by today in our neck of the woods, you'd see that our little log home is snuggled inside a towering cathedral of trees. The summer is quiet here. As you arrive, you may need to step over a baseball bat or two on the front walk - I told them twice. But if you come on into our living room, you may not realize there are six children who live here at all because often there are not toys in sight. Minimalism is more than style here. It is an ardent choice even in the area of toys. This, however, was not always the case.

I confess I was totally at fault for the toy explosion at our house. Not too many years ago, I could not safely walk through our home. The endless plastic junk from gifts, yard sales, freebies, and Christmas seemed to breed each night into a bigger monster. I resented it. I was angry. I yelled. And then, I got tired. Exhausted, down to the core of my being, and I decided to change. The toy monster had to be tamed for our family to move forward. So, I got rid of almost every toy. Not overnight, but deliberately over time. Throughout that journey, I had to come to terms with my own past, pain in my childhood, old, powerful loneliness that had held my heart captive to fear. Once I truly saw the problem was me, not my children, I could start over. The absolute best thing I got rid of in the area of toys was my insecurity as a parent.

I had to get rid of the fear that I wasn't a good mom. You see, I believed all of the lies that I had been told. Now, it seems silly, but let's just be real, markers are not necessary for a good childhood (yes, I might have been told that). Neither are Legos. Both are banned from our house to this day. I'm a happy momma and my kids are having a magical, wonderful, imperfect childhood. I do allow sticks, rocks, leaves, tons of wildflowers, and a feral toad that showed up one winter in a house plant - all are welcome to come visit. I love all things nature-play, zero-waste, imagination-rich-related for children's activities. I will no longer allow other people's gifts to determine my life or the life of my family. I know the complete and total misery of allowing other people to determine what I allow in my front door! Those days are done. I am responsible to God for the kind of home that I create. And while that may sound strong, I know in our mother's hearts, we all know it to be true. Mothers are always the ones who feel pain when the child falls. It's science. We can't help it. We are, therefore, the guardians of our homes. Not the media, not the grandparents, though we love them dearly, not the children, though we give them realms of authority as they grow. It was my watch to keep at the doorways of our home.

When my house was a wreck and the toys out of control, I realized my role to protect the peace of household was to say "no." No more freebies at the bank. No more stickers in the grocery line. No more migraine-makers plastic junk from relatives who thought it was funny. It's not. That simple concept, that I am the guardian of what comes into my home, created for me the freedom to truly change the entire tone of the life we lived. 

Instead of putting toys away endlessly, my boys now play with about 6 little airplanes and a few misc frogs and a tractor for most everyday. I can fit all the toys into my cupped hands. I have school activities in 3 organized baskets, math- u-see blocks, wooden blocks, and a Noah's ark wooden set. In the basement, I have 2 tables. One is Clayland with polymer clay which I loved as a kid. The other is covered with a board game called Axis and Allies on the
WWII strategy side of life. My boys wake up early to re-live each strategic move. Daily items of the children include 50 cent Composition notebooks and library books. I have a tub of costumes for the little boys and a small tub of stuff animals. That's pretty much it.
Each child has a "school box" but it's just their special items that they want to keep. Sentimental string. Maps from the zoo. Rocks, pine cones, seashells, and
swimming goggles are current favorites. My daughter kept some doll things for a future baby sister, but her main items are books and notebooks. She wants to
be a writer. Yes, I'm thrilled.  

Does this simplicity stop the fights over toys? NO! Human hearts have always struggled with sharing. A limited number of items cannot solve the issues of the soul. It does, however, CREATE the room and time to address the true heart issues.

The point being that toys are going to look different for each family, each season. Minimalism must be unique. Human beings are unique. Having a simple toy strategy, intentionally curating the home for the season and age of each member, provides the framework to truly address the character work so necessary for a secure and magical childhood. 

In that light, I teach these important concepts to my children. 

1.Keep only your favorites

2.At the end of the day, put it away - How could I yell at my kids to put stuff away? The toys  a) had no home

b)there was too much anyway it was overwhelming to us both and

c) it was plastic junk that wasn't giving them the knowledge I wanted about the beauty of our natural world.

3.Zero waste toys are best - who knew that avocado seeds are fantastic balls? So are wool dryer balls that I made with a woolen mitten I accidentally shrunk and covered
with wool yarn. Recycling items create endless fun, as do cloth napkins made into super hero capes. 

If you want a magical, secure childhood for your kids, you already have all that you need inside of you. I realized that my kids didn't need toys, what they truly
needed was me! To tell them stories, explain gravity, laugh at their jokes, look deep in their eyes and tell them "I always wanted a child just like you!"

If you were here today, you'd see the wild, crazy antics of the high-intensity kids I love. You'd see they floated the wooden Noah's ark for hours in the tub, only flooding the house twice. They did build a fort in the living room with cushions, but mostly they read on the couch and fought over boy-things I don't understand. Then, one cries when wounded or laughs at a silly joke. It's childhood. It's possible. You can CREATE a magical and secure childhood without being flooded with toys. 

Blessings for your journey,

Always,

Elizabeth

Family Style Minimalism

Welcome dear friend! Come up the porch steps of my little log home in the woods, the afternoon is slowly fading, and let's talk family. As a mom of 6 children, I know how frustrating it can be to look at minimalism from a family perspective. I searched hard to find others who had blazed a trail. The culture in many ways has lost it's very soul in de-valuing family and worshiping "stuff." Come away for some simple space to breath deep the smell of thick woods in summer. Come sit on my porch swing and let's chat, because Family Style Minimalism has been a journey for me, challenging and difficult, but so incredibly worth it.

If I could describe for you what I was like just a few short years ago...I was sobbing in my basement surrounded by box after box of "stuff." I was struggling with overwhelm and depression. I felt trapped. My grandparents had passed away and along with grief I received "stuff." If you had been here, you'd have been shocked at my six 18 GALLON tubs of fabric. Random fabric. Seriously. So much stuff. And while I appreciated the generosity of well-meaning and useful hand-me-downs, I could only fit so much in my basement.  I ugly-cried and prayed as I sorted, desperate to not leave my children a legacy of chaos.

At the same time, I wrestled with this nagging fear that I couldn't afford to just donate it all. "What if we need that?"  "What if I can't afford to replace that later on?" "Shouldn't I sell that when we are just trying to make ends me?" All of these thoughts plagued me. In the end, I had to make the choice to just give it all away. I realized that my beautiful, wonderful grandparents didn't want me to live this way....crying in the basement over their stuff. They wanted me to love my children, to be a patient, kind, strong, and fun-loving mother. I knew that it was time to take a firm look at my home and my life. It was time to get my home, finances and life in order. I had to let go of the past and the shame that I felt for even being in the midst of the mess in the first place. A mix of penance and self-responsibility grew as literally hundreds of boxes and bags went to charity. All useful, good stuff that I simply didn't need.

How does minimalism look now in a big family, you might ask? I decided that if my house was a wreck, I couldn't blame my kids. I knew deep in my soul it was completely my responsibility. I was accountable for running my home. I had to own it. I didn't want my children to be burdened with the bizarre guilt of a messy house when I was the one who allowed the junk in the door. So, I started making room FOR my children. Instead of shaming them into cleaning, I engaged in conversations about the meaning and uses of "stuff." We started sharing as a family items that were still good and useful that we didn't need. Then, the children started to share on their own. As they saw me sort through all of my excess baggage, they started to do the same. I made room for my husband's items (I never touched his realm of stuff) and tried to make it easier for him to find what he needed. I followed the family's pathways in the day to create systems to make each person's life easier. I tried to paint a vision of what our home could be, a fun, peaceful haven where people would love to come and just play all day. The children connected and owned that vision, eventually coming full force to the concept of valuing people more than things.

I had to realize that change started with me. My own soul, my own mindset, and my own actions. I had to change my friendships as I realized that running with shopaholics isn't helpful in getting out of debt. I chose to change my words, eliminating the "what if we need that..." comments in front of the children. Instead, I began speaking truth, "we need to share and be good stewards of what we've been trusted with." Making space for those conversations was key to having the family join in the vision of minimalism. The value and personal responsibility minimalism brought to our family gave us a completely new life. I cannot overstate it. We were able to pay off debt and create a life lived on-purpose instead of just accepting what the culture said about children....words like "messy" "burden" "expensive" should never be used to shame children. I always tell my children, "You have always been a privilege to love." "I always wanted a child just like you." "You are worth more to me than stuff."

As you are on your journey to include those you love in living intentionally, you may find there are challenges. Physical ones in lifting heavy junk and emotionally heavy ones in releasing the shame of the past. Maybe there's self-forgiveness that needs to take place or a whole bunch of forgiveness all around. Hard conversations may need to happen. That's ok. Hit those conversations head-on with love and tenderness and respect.  

It is possible, dear friend, to have the peace in your mind and your soul that you so breathlessly need. You ARE the patient person you want to be when the demands and the clutter are lifted from pressing down on you. Your home CAN be a haven instead of a burden. You WILL conquer all that you desire on this journey because you ARE strong enough. You were MADE for great things and overcoming the mountains of clutter or debt or both is going to part of YOUR victory. So maybe you've cried in your basement this week or cried as you opened that stack of bills. Maybe you've seen a vision of where you want to go and it seems so. far. away. I've been there. Hear my voice cheering you on, "Keep going, my sweet friend, you are closer than you think!" The good decisions compound faster and faster. The bills start getting paid off. The shoes get put away more often. You will realize that you are CREATING your best life for you and your beloved family, one choice at a time.

Blessings for your journey

Minimalist Menu: Real Food on a Real Budget

Welcome to my Minimalist Kitchen! I'd love to have you come over to our little log home in the woods and have a cup of tea at my kitchen table. You would definitely be greeted by the smell of fresh bread and the infectious giggling of children. Aren't your children always hungry it seems? Mine sure are, and thankfully a Minimalist Menu makes it easy. 

 When cooking for a large or small household, simplicity is key and it saves money in totally practical ways. Here's my best tips:

1. Buy quality ingredients as basic as possible. Children don't need processed snacks, fruit is better. Sugar cereal? Total waste of money. I'd rather shoot myself in my foot! The resulting behavior is bad and so is the nutrition. I choose 50 lb bags of oatmeal for $25 each. I do quick oats so that the kids can soak it in milk and eat it uncooked with peanutbutter and yogurt.

2. Add water. Seriously, this is my go-to for everything. If you were sitting here in my kitchen chatting, you'd see me add water to swish around in the yogurt container. Then, I add that water to the bread dough pictured above. Mind you, the yogurt container was pretty much emptied by my 4 year old power-eater. However, instead of scraping it out, water is faster. Minimalist that I am I cannot let it go to waste and it makes my honey flat-bread soft. Keep reading for the recipe below.

3. Plan simple meals. Often I will declare a "Snack Meal." This means we have smoothie and oatmeal. Or all the leftovers in the frig must get eaten no matter how weird the combo. The kids laugh and put ketchup on everything. No problem! I have a hard-core rule in my kitchen, "Eat what you have and then you can have more." This principle has literally saved us thousands of dollars!! Before you've finished your first cup of tea, you'll probably hear me quote this rule at least six times to my 4 year old just because he needs to hear it again. Truth.

And here is my Minimalist Menu. By having "Theme nights" the children know what to expect and I can be flexible depending on what is in season locally:

Monday: Ethnic night

Tuesday: Lentils in the Crockpot

Wednesday: Soup and Salad

Thursday: Breakfast for Dinner

Friday: Protein/Rice/Veggie

Saturday:Homemade Pizza

Sunday:Leftover/Grilled Veggies

I always make enough of the main meal to have for lunch the next day. That means, whatever we eat for Monday night is Tuesday lunch also. This pattern is a complete life and sanity saver!! Breakfast is oatmeal, yogurt, leftover pancakes, or self-serve eggs (again kid-cooking skills are the best!).

And finally, my favorite easy bread recipe that saves time and money.

4 cups of oatmeal or spelt flour

1/4 to 1/2 cup of yogurt or whatever amount is left in the container. Plain Greek yogurt works best. You can rinse out a large plain yogurt container with water to save from having to scrap it out. 

2 cups of warm water, stir into the flour and forget about it on the counter as you chase away a 2 year old who wants to play cars in the dough. Feed the baby, listen to the teenager, and remember about 2 hours later that the bread is soaking. Don't worry, you SHOULD forget it because it turns out better that way. No yeast needed. The yogurt acts to soften the dough.

 Add 1 teaspoon of Himalayan Sea Salt

1/4 cup local honey. Stir and plop a bunch onto a coconut oil greased pan. This is FLAT bread so you can make it pretty much anyway your heart desires.

Bake at 350 degrees until cooked in the middle about 20 minutes. Super easy, super cheap, and yummy. For the photo above I used Spelt, although we are almost entirely gluten free, it works out fine for our family. These are not set in stone amounts or ingredients but high quality ingredients always work best.

What are some of your Minimalist Menu ideas? I always love to swap recipes and share a good cup of tea.

3 Ways to Never Say I Can't Afford It Again

Confession: when I left my corporate job due to my newborn daughter's medical complications, I worried about money. I knew that although we lived as frugally as we could, I was leaving a secure paycheck to care for my daughter and I was scared. During those years, I often said, "No, I can't afford it." I quickly realized that although kids don't need to be expensive, I was the one who was truly expensive. My time was expensive.  And I began to focus on everything in my life that I couldn't afford. Maybe you know that awful, hollow feeling as well. It's terrible. Fast forward 12 years + six kids total, and my life is totally changed.

Waking up every morning in house that is paid for, not being in debt for student loans or credit cards, and being available to my kids....that feeling is priceless! 

I'm sure you could guess that it has been a long journey to get here. Maybe you are still on that same journey and it feels. very. very. long. There's hope! Along the way, I found 3 key ways to change that horrible feeling of not being able to "afford it" into a feeling of gratitude, ultimately leading to a place of abundance. 

1. Change of Mindset

I redefined what I needed. What is truly necessary? Children need their parents' love in the form of time, patience, attention, discipline, and a huge amount of affection. Children don't need a gazillion migraine-making toys or a string of stressful activities. It took me a while to learn that. Looking at all of the abundance that I did have, rather than focusing on the areas of lack,  was a huge shift and one that I still remind myself to keep. It's too easy to slip by into scarcity and fear. Abundance is first a choice.

2.Change of Patterns

In my journey to affording the time with my loved ones, I found I needed to change my patterns. First my mindset, but next my actions. I changed what I did for fun...no more shopping even if it was sales or thrift stores or *gasp* upscale neighborhood garage sales. Instead I found I loved hiking and trail running. Maybe you might enjoy free museum days in the city or walking the beach like I do. Quality experiences can be free! I changed my pattern of eating to more homemade, wholesome foods. I changed my social obligations to working with families and business owners so that my calendar correlated with my desire to help others. All of this reflected my new attitude of abundance. I found wealth in hidden places. "I Can't Afford It" began to stop coming out of my mouth!

The path to freedom

must include right choices....

3. Asking the Right Questions

All of these changes happened as I was searching for more income and for more time, less stress and more happiness with my family. And these changes of mindset and patterns brought me to face serious questions. I found that I questioned what I truly needed as far as material possessions and ended up giving away 2/3 of everything I owned to charity. I questioned relationships that weren't life-giving, and allowed those negative relationships to diminish. I found that with asking the right questions, I got the results I was looking for...more time with the ones I loved and less time worrying about affording it. I know you're probably thinking that's not rocket science, but for me, asking the right questions changed everything.

Instead of saying "I Can't Afford It" I began to ask .......

  Does it move me closer to my dreams and vision for the future?

  Does the item/event/service create value or solve a problem to get me closer to my dream life?

 Does this decision provide something that is an asset, creating addition income or making it possible in the future?

You may rightly wonder how these questions wiped away the worry about affording things. Changing my mindset, changing my patterns, and asking the right questions led me to find all the answers I was looking for. I was able to use our resources better. I balanced our finances without fear. I worked from home to expand our residual income with adding new rental properties because I had the time and vision (a ton less time cleaning with 2/3 of everything donated).  I was able to start coaching families and business owners in the area of finances through my training and my work with a financial publishing company.

I changed that hollow ache of not "affording it" into an abundant attitude of sharing and loving and living intentionally because I was willing to take the leap of faith and do the work to change.

What faith decisions have you made on your journey to simplicity?

Clean House & Happy Children - YES! You Can!

If I could write a letter to my previous self, I would tell her "You CAN have a clean house and happy children." Seriously I had never seen it done! I did not grow up in a minimalist home. I was raised to be a career woman. When I had my daughter, I was not prepared to leave my corporate job, but I knew that I made the best choice for my daughter as she had medical complications at the time. Choosing to come home was the right decision, but it wasn't easy.

You see, if you fast forwarded several years,  I was floundering as a mom. I did not have good boundaries for allowing well-meaning family to "store" items at my house. Maybe you have family like that. I'm sorry. I totally understand. Seriously, I couldn't walk through my house safely - toys, furniture, too many clothes, dishes literally to the ceiling. I'm not proud of that and I was miserable. My children weren't particularly peaceful either. We were a huge, hot mess in more ways than one.

The changes started slowly at first. I think it's called the compound effect. I stopped allowing others to redecorate my home. I donated bag after bag to the local charity. Furniture started to go the mountain of toys. Anything with batteries and noise was on my "hit list."  I was like a woman on a mission to get rid of those migraine making toys!!

Slowly, our true life emerged from under a mountain of "stuff!" I took nightly walks with my children as the evening sunset painted the sky. I read book after book instead of screen time. The behavior improved, in me actually first and then my children. I started to see our home from their eyes. If I was upset about the toys being out everywhere, I realized that I was totally responsible. I realized they needed a system, each activity needed a home. Suddenly a clean home became possible because every item HAD an actual home. Now, please don't judge! I know this is common sense and I have a high level degree. I get it that I should have known this, but how did I actually do this?

Maybe you have wondered if a clean home is possible with children, you are in the right place. I wondered that as well. I wasn't willing to give into the sarcastic sayings on FB about blaming the kids for a messy house. Like you, I also wasn't willing to let the kids trash the place either. Not going to happen....ever.

Here's 3 things that will help CREATE a happy, kid-friendly house:

1.See your home from your child's eyes. Follow their footsteps through an ideal day. Do they need their socks with their shoes? Done. Move the socks to the shoe cupboard. Kids always asking for drinks? Done. Step stool in the kitchen with stainless steel cups. Always finding toys on the floor? No problem. If found on the floor, the toy goes to the job shelf. Each child must work to earn their toy back. Clean house? Done.

2. Teach the concept "if you want to get something out, put something away." I also have a play pattern for each day. It's not strict but I am the one to direct their activities. In the morning after breakfast it's math blocks. Afternoon time is outside play or art in the basement. I am in charge so that there are no roaming bandits flooding the house....it has happened twice, just saying.

3. Encourage the children to keep their favorites. And share! Blessed day, my two year old is finally learning to share.  Discernment takes time to teach and model as does sharing and decision making. We often joke as moms about how difficult it is to teach sharing but we have a great opportunity in decluttering to practice what we preach. Ouch. I have shared items that I didn't want to share and it was so, so good for my children to see it. A mom in need asked for cloth diapers. Silly, I know, but I had a hard time letting go. When I did, I was so excited that my children saw that I shared even when I truly needed that item for our own family. Shortly afterwards, we received "upgraded" organic cloth diapers as a gift. Sweet poetic justice.

The systems in a home help CREATE a deep trust and happiness that I cannot quite explain. Children enjoy rhythms and dependability. And happy children, a clean home, aaahh this CREATES the sacred space that our family needs.

Blessings for your journey!!

~Elizabeth