3 Ways to Never Say I Can't Afford It Again

Confession: when I left my corporate job due to my newborn daughter's medical complications, I worried about money. I knew that although we lived as frugally as we could, I was leaving a secure paycheck to care for my daughter and I was scared. During those years, I often said, "No, I can't afford it." I quickly realized that although kids don't need to be expensive, I was the one who was truly expensive. My time was expensive.  And I began to focus on everything in my life that I couldn't afford. Maybe you know that awful, hollow feeling as well. It's terrible. Fast forward 12 years + six kids total, and my life is totally changed.

Waking up every morning in house that is paid for, not being in debt for student loans or credit cards, and being available to my kids....that feeling is priceless! 

I'm sure you could guess that it has been a long journey to get here. Maybe you are still on that same journey and it feels. very. very. long. There's hope! Along the way, I found 3 key ways to change that horrible feeling of not being able to "afford it" into a feeling of gratitude, ultimately leading to a place of abundance. 

1. Change of Mindset

I redefined what I needed. What is truly necessary? Children need their parents' love in the form of time, patience, attention, discipline, and a huge amount of affection. Children don't need a gazillion migraine-making toys or a string of stressful activities. It took me a while to learn that. Looking at all of the abundance that I did have, rather than focusing on the areas of lack,  was a huge shift and one that I still remind myself to keep. It's too easy to slip by into scarcity and fear. Abundance is first a choice.

2.Change of Patterns

In my journey to affording the time with my loved ones, I found I needed to change my patterns. First my mindset, but next my actions. I changed what I did for fun...no more shopping even if it was sales or thrift stores or *gasp* upscale neighborhood garage sales. Instead I found I loved hiking and trail running. Maybe you might enjoy free museum days in the city or walking the beach like I do. Quality experiences can be free! I changed my pattern of eating to more homemade, wholesome foods. I changed my social obligations to working with families and business owners so that my calendar correlated with my desire to help others. All of this reflected my new attitude of abundance. I found wealth in hidden places. "I Can't Afford It" began to stop coming out of my mouth!

The path to freedom

must include right choices....

3. Asking the Right Questions

All of these changes happened as I was searching for more income and for more time, less stress and more happiness with my family. And these changes of mindset and patterns brought me to face serious questions. I found that I questioned what I truly needed as far as material possessions and ended up giving away 2/3 of everything I owned to charity. I questioned relationships that weren't life-giving, and allowed those negative relationships to diminish. I found that with asking the right questions, I got the results I was looking for...more time with the ones I loved and less time worrying about affording it. I know you're probably thinking that's not rocket science, but for me, asking the right questions changed everything.

Instead of saying "I Can't Afford It" I began to ask .......

  Does it move me closer to my dreams and vision for the future?

  Does the item/event/service create value or solve a problem to get me closer to my dream life?

 Does this decision provide something that is an asset, creating addition income or making it possible in the future?

You may rightly wonder how these questions wiped away the worry about affording things. Changing my mindset, changing my patterns, and asking the right questions led me to find all the answers I was looking for. I was able to use our resources better. I balanced our finances without fear. I worked from home to expand our residual income with adding new rental properties because I had the time and vision (a ton less time cleaning with 2/3 of everything donated).  I was able to start coaching families and business owners in the area of finances through my training and my work with a financial publishing company.

I changed that hollow ache of not "affording it" into an abundant attitude of sharing and loving and living intentionally because I was willing to take the leap of faith and do the work to change.

What faith decisions have you made on your journey to simplicity?

Clean House & Happy Children - YES! You Can!

If I could write a letter to my previous self, I would tell her "You CAN have a clean house and happy children." Seriously I had never seen it done! I did not grow up in a minimalist home. I was raised to be a career woman. When I had my daughter, I was not prepared to leave my corporate job, but I knew that I made the best choice for my daughter as she had medical complications at the time. Choosing to come home was the right decision, but it wasn't easy.

You see, if you fast forwarded several years,  I was floundering as a mom. I did not have good boundaries for allowing well-meaning family to "store" items at my house. Maybe you have family like that. I'm sorry. I totally understand. Seriously, I couldn't walk through my house safely - toys, furniture, too many clothes, dishes literally to the ceiling. I'm not proud of that and I was miserable. My children weren't particularly peaceful either. We were a huge, hot mess in more ways than one.

The changes started slowly at first. I think it's called the compound effect. I stopped allowing others to redecorate my home. I donated bag after bag to the local charity. Furniture started to go the mountain of toys. Anything with batteries and noise was on my "hit list."  I was like a woman on a mission to get rid of those migraine making toys!!

Slowly, our true life emerged from under a mountain of "stuff!" I took nightly walks with my children as the evening sunset painted the sky. I read book after book instead of screen time. The behavior improved, in me actually first and then my children. I started to see our home from their eyes. If I was upset about the toys being out everywhere, I realized that I was totally responsible. I realized they needed a system, each activity needed a home. Suddenly a clean home became possible because every item HAD an actual home. Now, please don't judge! I know this is common sense and I have a high level degree. I get it that I should have known this, but how did I actually do this?

Maybe you have wondered if a clean home is possible with children, you are in the right place. I wondered that as well. I wasn't willing to give into the sarcastic sayings on FB about blaming the kids for a messy house. Like you, I also wasn't willing to let the kids trash the place either. Not going to happen....ever.

Here's 3 things that will help CREATE a happy, kid-friendly house:

1.See your home from your child's eyes. Follow their footsteps through an ideal day. Do they need their socks with their shoes? Done. Move the socks to the shoe cupboard. Kids always asking for drinks? Done. Step stool in the kitchen with stainless steel cups. Always finding toys on the floor? No problem. If found on the floor, the toy goes to the job shelf. Each child must work to earn their toy back. Clean house? Done.

2. Teach the concept "if you want to get something out, put something away." I also have a play pattern for each day. It's not strict but I am the one to direct their activities. In the morning after breakfast it's math blocks. Afternoon time is outside play or art in the basement. I am in charge so that there are no roaming bandits flooding the house....it has happened twice, just saying.

3. Encourage the children to keep their favorites. And share! Blessed day, my two year old is finally learning to share.  Discernment takes time to teach and model as does sharing and decision making. We often joke as moms about how difficult it is to teach sharing but we have a great opportunity in decluttering to practice what we preach. Ouch. I have shared items that I didn't want to share and it was so, so good for my children to see it. A mom in need asked for cloth diapers. Silly, I know, but I had a hard time letting go. When I did, I was so excited that my children saw that I shared even when I truly needed that item for our own family. Shortly afterwards, we received "upgraded" organic cloth diapers as a gift. Sweet poetic justice.

The systems in a home help CREATE a deep trust and happiness that I cannot quite explain. Children enjoy rhythms and dependability. And happy children, a clean home, aaahh this CREATES the sacred space that our family needs.

Blessings for your journey!!

~Elizabeth

Simplify Your Summer Kitchen: Save Time & Money to Enjoy Your Best Summer Yet

 Hello Summer! I absolutely adore summer. In our little neck of the woods, the warmth is so welcome after the winter months. I love the smell of summer, the brightness of summer, and the food of summer. All things summer are my favorite.

The pace of summer, however,  is the one thing that in our household could always use a little fine tuning. Perhaps you are sometime breathless like me as we have weddings, graduations, vacations, summer sports, and just plain old summer time chores. I needed a few time saving (and money saving, of course!) tricks. So several summers ago, I created a few of favorite short-cuts for my sanity. Seriously, don’t re-invent the wheel on this…just shamelessly steal my ideas. Go ahead, and create some simplicity and sanity in your summer.

Simplify the kitchen: The heart of the house is the kitchen.

Step 1 Simplify your stations in the kitchen. Go cupboard by cupboard and pretend they are your paid servants. Assign each cupboard or section of your kitchen a task. Get rid of everything that “servant” doesn’t need and keep only what is important for that particular task. For example, I have a coffee station (a must-have for busy mommas) that has all the needed items to create the black creamy deliciousness quick. I have a smoothie station with ingredients for healthy starts to the day or night. Donate any unused utensils, appliances, or misc. junk to your local charity. Remember your donation receipt and stash it with your tax folder for the win!

Step 2 Simplify your dishes. I seriously wish I would’ve done this years ago! Hear me out….I have 8 people in our family and when we are running hard in our business and personal activates the dishes monster can grow to epic proportions.  Yes, I have an electronic servant called a dishwasher. However, it has become for decorative purposes only and I’m thrilled. Here’s what I did. I got matching stainless steel plates and bowl total of 8 (one for each person). Then, I got 8 spoons and forks but not butter knives because my sons sword fight with them defending the castle from invaders. I also got white coffee mugs that are all slightly different at the thrift store so that each person could tell which water cup was theirs. Only 8 of those! Do you see my strategy? If a person wants to eat or drink, they have to wash a dish or plate or cup. There’s a limited supply and they can’t dirty the whole kitchen in an hour. And one little rule: we can’t run out the door to do something fun until the meal routine is done. So the family all works together quickly so we can go to the pool. We wash the dishes, dry, and put away after every meal and that’s possible even in a huge family like mine. You will save sanity and not be tempted to use paper plates every meal, which gets expensive with a family of any size. Your summer will thank you!

Step 3 Simplify your food. Oh my goodness the money we spend on food! Here’s my go-to tricks for keeping a reasonable food budget. I buy in bulk. I know that may not be practical for every household, but I think you can definitely modify it. When I had a small family, I split bulk with other small families. I buy 50 lbs. of rolled oats from the local Mennonite store for $25. One small 1 lb. container even at the discount grocery is $3.59. That’s a huge savings and I store it in Walmart #2 plastic paint buckets. Win. Win. Win. The children can cook it, it’s cheaper than cereal and better nutrition too.  Set up a simple meal plan with theme nights so you have the flexibility to create a masterpiece from whatever may be in the frig. Schedule a grocery trip only once a week or 10 days. Be committed to use what you have before you get more. This concept alone has save me thousands of dollars!

Extra Tips: Just for fun because there’s so many and if you were having coffee in my kitchen you’d see me do this stuff without thinking.

-trade with neighbors for fresh garden produce. I wish I had a garden but I don't so we trade with the sweet older neighbors who do garden.

-add water to rinse your ketchup and cans into a crock pot of lentils (super cheap and easy and yummy)

-grate your own cheese, it’s just better all the way around and cheaper in bulk

-buy fruit and veggies even if you buy it precut it’s so much better than fruit roll-ups for snacks on the go

-color coordinate water bottles and teach the children to fill their own before heading out the door. No more nasty plastic water bottles that may be toxic and are expensive too. I use Kleen Kanteen and let me just say, they are indestructible. My kids have tried and not been able to destroy them yet! Saves a ton of time and money just having your own water bottles.

-Keep easy emergency meals on hand, like oatmeal, or buy the huge bags of frozen berries for smoothie dinners. Make your life easy momma!!

-Teach your kids to cook. Even my 4 year old can cook his own breakfast with slight supervision. It may take time on the front end but seriously it will be an asset that pays you in time and money for years to come!

So have your best summer by creating simplicity of systems in the heart of your home….Blessings for your best summer yet!!  

How Minimalism Saves Our Family Time AND Money

If you are like me when I first heard of minimalism, you are probably curious about how minimalism really works. I thought of empty houses and museums right? Could the concept of minimalism ever be practical for real people? And I also wondered, would it seriously solve any of my problems...the two big ones being TIME and MONEY?

When I started this journey, I had three children ages 5, 3, and 1 years old. My amazing, hard-working husband had a job that took a ton of his time and I was doing different side gigs to help make money without having to compromise raising our children. In the almost 7 years since I started that journey toward living with less, I have given away 500 + bags to charity and 10 huge pieces of furniture. And yes, we still have couches to sit on and live in a "normal" home (see the tab market HOME TOUR). And I wondered if it was worth the time and money of giving it all away....

What I wanted in the beginning was some sanity in my home and life. What I gained has completely blown my mind.

As I peeled back the layers of 6 tubs of scrap fabric I was never going to use and mismatched dishes that I hated, I slowly and painfully and ironically questioned the sanity of "why am I doing this? It's taking forever!" I felt it was my penance for having allowed all this junk in my house in the first place. I felt like God was punishing me! Stuck in my basement or head-first in my disaster closet, I felt like I was being punished and miserable for allowing other people to determine what I kept in my home. I determined that I would change. My thinking was the problem. And then, the miracles happened...

Suddenly, small miracles. I could find my keys. I could find my shoes and purse every single day. Items had a permanent home. I could see progress. The anger and overwhelm that had plagued me slipped out of my heart and mind quietly leaving like an unwelcome guest finally told to go. The children were happier. With every bag gone, the burden began to lift. And I got my time. Seriously, I wish I could yell this from the mountain tops....everything took less time!! Can you believe it!? So simple yet so revolutionary for me.  Less time to do dishes, laundry, cooking, and kid chores. Less time looking for things. Less time sorting and putting things away because there was simply less things to put away. Halleluiah!!

Then, another miracle happened. Opportunities opened. I had the time to work on our investment properties and triple our rental income in about 4 months by adding additional units. I had the time to really get to know our tenants who became dear to our family. They would feed our kids grapes and cheese while we chatted and changed furnace filters. Seriously, who does that? People with time. People with time invest in other people!

Because of the compounding impact of minimalism, I also was able to work with my husband and start another business helping families and business owners with financial education and game planning. I found all my skills from the corporate world brought much needed help to underserved communities in our area where financial mentorship and hope is truly needed. And because I had the mental clarity and I was spending less time with "stuff," I could spend more time serving people. That simply makes my heart sing.

In terms of exact numbers, I have on a consistent basis saved 20+ hours per week compounding by donating all those bags of very useful items. 20 hours X Years of Freedom = So Worth It!

As far as money is concerned, saving money is one category. It regularly saves us about 50% of our household budget by choosing a minimalist lifestyle. But that's not all, not only do we SAVE more money, we have CREATED more income as well. By being free to work on our businesses, I estimate that the amount exceeds double my salary in corporate world. It's significant. And I am still raising my children rather than commuting into the city.

And although I am a huge advocate for Creating Minimalism, I am also a realist. This will take work. It took giving it all away to find the life I was looking for all along. May you find your best life as well. Blessings for your journey!

~Elizabeth 

Non-toxic toothpaste and minimalism

Toothpaste and minimalism may seem an odd couple but I promise they are related. Hang with me! We love living in a modest 1400 square foot log home in the woods. It's beautiful and toothpaste does not easily wash off logs. Ask me how I know. Enter my toddlers! They have helped, with the squeeze and squirt experiments, to motivate me to find alternatives to the traditional tubes. Plus, we are working towards a zero waste household and less toxic lifestyle.

Hence, we reduced our need for commercial toothpaste to making our own in small, naughtiness-limiting amounts that were non-toxic and organic in case they simply eat it all.

Here is the recipe that we use modified from tons of different recipes on DIY websites on line. It came down to what ingredients I already owned or could easy purchase. Have fun with this! The main point according to our dentist is to actually brush more the ingredients anyway.

Non-Toxic Toothpaste Recipe: 

Equal parts depending on the size of your family, about 2 Tablespoons for us......

Coconut oil (organic unrefined from Walmart or Mountain Rose Herbs)

Arrowroot (organic from Whole Foods or Amazon)

Bentonite Clay

Baking Soda

Xylitol

Mix Well - add Distilled Water if needed

Add high quality, food grade essential oils about 20 drops to your taste. We used lemon this time but we like peppermint also.

I put them in sterilized small glass French jars from Amazon with lids that are attached. Then I also sterilize their bamboo toothbrushes with either boiling hot water or I often get hurried and just peroxide on them when everyone has had colds. I try to keep it as clean as possible and then I find their toothbrushes on the floor getting stepped on....we can only do so much. They totally eat dirt outside so I guess these steps may be quite silly!

That's it, though, super easy.

Minimalism is not about less for the sake of less. For us, it is really is creating a way to live that is healthier for us all.

Our reason....our story

Moments create our lives. Our reason and our story has multiple beginnings. Perhaps it began with trying to live on a youth pastor's salary and keeping everything, "just in case." Maybe it was the weight of our grandparents' passing away and all their stuff being poured into our basement. Probably it came with a deep conviction.

People are more important than stuff.

We knew we needed change. And as all good and permanent change does...it began slowly. Slowly, painfully, I began with the support of my husband (as long as I didn't touch his stuff), to peel back layers of years and in heartache. In short, we ended up giving 2/3rds of everything we owned away.

In the last 6 years, we have donated over 550+ huge bags, pieces of furniture, and stuff to charity (doesn't count other items shared to friends and family).

We also are about to have baby #6. With children, we thought it would be difficult to find peace and minimalism. How wrong we were! Actually children thrive in a less cluttered home. And not only thrive, but help create minimalism. More than we ever realized. Sometimes in humorous ways. Sometimes in extremely hard ways. Always good and always moving us forward.

This is our story, with our reasons, but as you hear in these pages and images the laughter and often deep struggle, may you find courage. A path. One more step forward. For your family, for your season. Create for yourself the kind of life you want using all that we have learned along the way. Welcome to our journey and yours.

We know that you will find the life you want to CREATE is just beyond all that is let go along the way.

~ Blessings,

Elizabeth